conviction.

Last night, I spent the better part of my evening in a whiskey-fueled debate (the best kind) with an educated evangelical theologian (the worst kind). He's actually fallen from the Christian take on things, and it ended up that he and I share a lot of the same perspective on religion and belief.

Faith seems to me to be the most fallible essence of human nature. Even disregarding the concept of organized religion and the charlatans/prophets contained therein, the idea of faith as manipulation is exploited on a daily basis. Essentially any inter-personal relationship- interaction, even- is founded on a mutual faith-based acceptance of purported virtue. My whole "optimistic misanthrope" ideal stems from that- the optimist in me wants to accept everything anyone says or does at face value (why would people need to be deceptive?), but the cynic/misanthrope realizes that's rarely the case. The slightest of white lies are usually part of a larger picture: "If I say (x), then they will think (y), which will cause them to (z)." Basically, tell me what you think I want to hear so that I'll react how you want me to.

This extends to every realm of my daily life- my job (sales), my nighttime gig (working at a club- people always want something from you), my established friendships (although I try to surround myself with honest people), my budding relationships with new people- male or female, platonic or non.

In the mires of pretty much any one-on-one conversation, I put myself out there, no holds barred. I ask questions that I honestly want the answers to, and I expect honest answers. I love nothing more than learning about people- listening to their stories and hearing them think aloud. It just saddens me to think that perhaps what comes out of anyone's mouth isn't the most up-front angle.

I have faith in humans and their desire to be righteous; I have a healthy distrust for human nature.