torrential output

You know what's not the least bit attractive? Attempting to run, as quickly as possible, across an intersection teeming with a two-inch deep stream of water, one hand shoved in your pocket and the other one holding on for dear life to an umbrella that seems only moments away from being torn from your grasp. All while trying to balance the bag strapped to your back that holds your laptop. So, to any of you who may have witnessed my atrocious display of agility on Pine and Boren just now, you have my permission to gouge out your mind's eye with a fork. I promise I won't be mad.

Said umbrella is brand new; I'd purchased it just moments before reaching that intersection. Its predecessor was literally whipped inside-out by the wind, ripping my arm from the side of my body and pulling me diagonally across the sidewalk, where it decided to wrap its spindly tentacles around a lamp post, bending its stalk irreparably along the way. I felt like I was in some Three Stooges scenario.

I think as long as things don't get this bad, however, we'll all be okay.